This Whole “Living to Work” Thing is Bullshit

A couple of weeks ago marked my two-year post-college anniversary. I’m in the same dead-end job, with really very little hope of finding anything. The economy sucks, we know. I bitterly replay all the promises of “go to college and you’ll get a great job” and “your degree will open so many doors.”

Well guess what.

Entry-level jobs are now unpaid internships. Companies want experienced applicants, but no one get gain experience. A 40-hour a week, unpaid internship doesn’t keep me fed, my loans paid, or give me any financial hope of saving up for an apartment.

“Adults” assume we’re lazy. My mother is constantly railing at me over finding a job and explaining why it’s so hard falls on deaf ears. I learned the other day about a potential opportunity, but is the full-time, sort-of-in-your-field job worth it if it’s stressful, hectic and the material bores you to death? Do I sacrifice what little soul I have left to something like that?

What makes it worse is every time I contemplate going back to school, the price of education stops me. I’m already $23,000 in debt for my undergrad. Additional degrees cost TWICE as much, as there’s less financial aid. Do I really want to add MORE DEBT to my already inescapable amount? It’ll take me 10 years to pay that off. A decade. If I go back to school, I’ll still have to work to keep up paying. I’ll still be in the same dead-end job.

So at the moment, I’m working in retail, revising a novel (which, even if eventually sold won’t do much for me financially, but feeds my soul), and attempting to break into freelance horror writing. Awesome. But the pressure of finding “a career” makes me sick because basically, I feel hopeless.



Filed under Writing

6 responses to “This Whole “Living to Work” Thing is Bullshit

  1. Ever thought of starting your own business of doing things that you love? You love writing… you could help people (aka: start a business) doing that. Sure it could take a few months to get into the swing of it, but I bet it’d be worth it.

    • onegirlvaudeville

      It’s not that I HAVEN’T thought about it (I’d love to teach creative writing or creative thinking but I think teach is the wrong word), it’s more I can’t fathom the logistics of it.

  2. Amy

    I completely feel you. I just quit my soul sucking retail job and am going back to technical college in July which will hopefully lead to a real job by the end of it. Keep feeding your soul. Do what you love. I fully believe when you are doing what makes you happy everything else will fall into place 🙂

  3. I wish I had advice or something cheerful to say, but I don’t.

    I do, however, feel you. Hang in there.

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