As you may know, I’m fairly neurotic about most things in my writing life. Cat recently tweeted about a girl who had her pitch stolen. To add insult to injury, it got agent-ed and the thief landed a major book deal with a pitch they didn’t write.
This makes me 1) angry, 2) upset and 3) incredibly nervous.
Especially since I was so excited about LIVING DEAD. I really enjoy doing little things, like posting snippets for people to read and it makes me happy when I can give you a full story to entertain you through the Halloween days. Since my level of copyright protection is significantly less than I’d love, and the internet is sometimes a cruel and scary place, I’m afraid I’m going to stop updating LIVING DEAD online. That doesn’t mean I won’t finish it–or the third installment I’d planned for next year–but it does mean you’ll no longer be able to view it. In fact, I’m taking it down altogether.
I’ve wanted to release them as ebooks in the distant future, so I guess you’ll have to wait. I’m sorry. At they’ll have some nifty cover art by then!
That being said, I’ve also been thinking about process. I have several writer friends, some who’ve already made it into Author territory and some just starting out. I think I have issues dealing with other people’s success in comparison to my own.
My freshman year of college, I took the AP level writing class. For the entire semester, the professor adored me, reading my work to the class, praising me on my creativity; it was nice ego boost for a girl who didn’t know what to expect from college.
Then I got into my first research-writing class and those glorious A’s declined into C’s and B’s. I was not please and didn’t understand why I wasn’t doing as well.
That’s kinda the feeling I’m experiencing. I don’t have a finished draft yet. I’m doing small revisions to what I have while working on finishing the story. Watching other people blossom sparks that jealousy in me. I feel inadequate for not writing a book in a month even though I know other people who’ve spent years finishing a draft.
It may also go hand-in-hand with my life situation at the moment. Toss everything into turmoil and making good art gets tough (see previous blog).
I got some positive feedback on the first 9 chapters I showed my darling beta, Laura, and the other day I had a great conversation with a coworker about writing and the fact that, sure, I got a college degree, but basically do whatever strikes my fancy.
And now, I’ve issued a challenge to myself, to overcome these–frankly ridiculous–feelings and push myself into at least hitting the mid-point of The Novel-Beast. I’m finally trying NaNoWriMo again.
I will push myself to write 50,000 words, which will land me at approximately 80k. This will not be easy. Someone will have to issue punishments if I don’t write.
I have 7 days to prepare. I’ll be posting info once I sign up.
Break out the tea.